Ugh....There is no better word for this than Ugh

Sorry I didn't get back sooner. I've had my kids and the batteries on the cordless mouse died (cordless mice... are they called "mice?... anyway... they are completely worthless and are only cool the first time someone sees one). Anyway.. Moving along...

I went to the hospital and here is what happened...
*Waited FOREVER
*Got a call from Blither... I'm gonna return it sometime soon, too ;)... It was good to hear her voice after all this time.
*Waited MORE
*Finally got back to a bed... and WAITED
*Eventually got an IV... which was connected to NOTHING... and blood drawn
*A while later, I got two Tylenol and meds for nausea
*Got a catheder that no amount of begging, crying, and barganing got me out of
*Had fluids attached to my IV
*Had major panic attacks while stuck in bed WAITING
*Got an ultra painful ultrasound (yes, they can be invasive!)
*Found out the ultrasound didn't show a DAMN THING... except possibly a gestational sack, but no fetus
*Found out my pregnancy hormone levels were at 5000.... 2000 means you are pregnant

SO....
According to hormone levels, I should be further along than my last period would suggest. However, if they go by hormone levels they should be able to see a fetus via ultrasound. So, basicially, we know nothing. Either I am only as far as my last period suggests, or I am further and already lost the baby.

HOWEVER...
I am still in severe pain and spotting.... UGH

Somehow, I have seemed to manage maintaining some sort of a stable mindset through this. Although, I am a bit worried about my future life.... with a man I don't feel has not been there for me enough through this. The other side of me knows I am being incredibly demanding and that he is trying so hard he cries....
Fuck! I am an asshole..... But, until I am out of pain, I am excusing myself, damn it!

Here's me and my Baby on a lake cruise he took me on to try to cheer me up....