Am I CRAZY?? Don't answer that!

Here I am again! It is so odd to read my last post and think of everything that has happened since then.

Here's a lil' catch up.... ( I threw some random pics in because I know how you all get bored without pictures!)

S came back that night... We fought; bad. I left with the kids to Blither's. I ended up getting into a shithole place for a couple weeks with the kids,

but remained in the relationship with S.

Fast forward to December 16th....

We had to take the kids to my mom. I didn't have transportation to get them to school or daycare. No daycare means no work; no work means no money. Phil was still not helping... at all.

That night, S and I went to the Christmas party at my club. Alcohol + Emotional Shannin + S = fight. So, before it got ugly, I notified security not to allow him back in. This was the last straw for his ego. So, he left me.

For the following month I....

... Moved into my babysitters spare bedroom.

... Dated morons... One of which has become Phil's boss and my favorite stalker!

... Visited my kids for not nearly enough time.

... Got back together with Phil.

... Left Phil for S, again.

Sooo.....

S and I are back together. We totally do NOT have our shit together. We both have jobs, but I will get more into that momentarily. First, let me say that I hope there is no one else in his family that wishes to inflict pain on me. His mother attacked me in a bar about 6 weeks ago. Two weeks later, her mother came into my club threatening to shoot me!!! I won't be invited to family functions, I'm sure. His father's side seems ok with me and we are living with his paternal grandmother. That is SO much fun! HA!

So, the job situation... S is working whatever shit job he can get his hands on. He is miserable, but doing it. I still have my job.. However... the morning sickness that lasts all damn day makes it difficult to feel sexy in 2" of underware and 8" of heels. Yup... I'm pregnant! Five weeks now. And, we are broke, broke, broke. Living with grandma isn't going to work with the hordes of children we will soon have in tow!

NOW...

I am at my mom's with the kids for two weeks. Phil has a place set up for them then. I miss the hell out of S and our trust issues are in full swing right now. I am trying to tell myself that we need this. If we actually make it through, it will be amazing and just the jolt of faith I need.

If not, Phil has offered to let me stay with him. He will take care of me while I can't work and I will be living with my kids full time. Sounds great, I know! But, I would lose S. And, honestly, I love the shit out of that man. No amount of money or security changes that for me.

New MiMi, stolen from Blither, at Now THIS is Looney.